Baby badass Bieber


In the latest episode of Bieber is a Badass we find our delicately featured hero in a bit of hot water after a clash with some bad guys, local Miami police. Our hero out after a harmless night of underage drinking, recreational drug use and high speed drag racing fights tooth and nail against being hauled in unjustly. Tune in for the exciting conclusion.

Uh, yeah………not so much. There is something stinky in Bieberville and it ain’t our overly coiffed, bubble bath soaked, main attraction.
Let’s take a look at the talking points, shall we.

1. He was intoxicated.
-Underage, yes but with a .04 blood alcohol level he was hardly blotto. Should he have been driving? Nope. Rehab time…..uh no.

2. Drugs in his system.
-Weed. Ooooohhhhh. He’s hardcore now folks. Possibly Xanax but with a prescription. Should he have been driving? Nope. Rehab time…..uh no.

3. Drag racing.
-driving in excess of the speed limit in a ridiculously expensive car. Stupid, yes. Dangerous, yes, but mostly to himself and those in his crew since they supposedly blocked off the road for this little Fast and Furious reenactment.

4. Resisting arrest!
– did he run? Nope. Did he engage in hand to hand combat with a cop? Nope. He earned this charge by not keeping his hands on the hood of the police car as instructed. Ooohhh, we got ourselves a real scary hardened criminal here.

Now, if you think I am defending our little Canadian pretty boy, you are dead wrong. In fact I would love to see that smirk wiped off of his arrogant little face. I just don’t see it happening. This whole thing is so overly contrived its ridiculous. It reeks of music industry bigwigs trying to transition their prize moneymaker from teenage heartthrob to music’s latest badboy. The goal, make him seem more manly, a tad dangerous but still crush worthy. They need those teeny bobber ticket sales.Cue the swooning. Gag.

The clues are just how razor edge of a line they are towing. Bieber hangs out with rappers!- Ooh. Lil this, Lil that, all almost as whitewashed and the after school special brand of punk as our boy Justin.
Bieber terrorizes neighbours! – By driving too fast and throwing eggs.
Bieber May or may not have done drugs! -Weed may be confirmed soon but everything else is hinted at. Badass!
Arrested! -With perfectly done hair , flashing a carefree smile and very little chance of any real repercussions . Thug life.

It’s a transparent joke. The punch line is the star attraction himself. How stupid do these people think the public is?
This kid is a Disney character come to life. More Thumper than Jafaar. Whoever is trying to turn him into Tupac should’ve chosen Honey Boo for the role. She is ten times the badass Biebs is. She’d probably cut a bitch to protect her “sketti”.


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