Social media brings out the worst social behaviour

play-nice

 

Let me start this off by saying I have never watched the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills nor am I a country music fan. In spite of these two facts I have become very aware of Brandi Glanville and Leeann Rimes vicious feud. A little back story for those of you blissfully unaware, Brandi Glanville was a model who married a man named Eddie Cibrian. They had two children before it became public knowledge that Eddie was in fact a douchebag who cheated, repeatedly. How it became public knowledge is that one of his affairs was with Leeann Rimes, also married,who was apparently a famous country artist. Now, normally I wouldn’t even look twice at an article about these people but the way it all played out was so scandalous and distasteful it was hard not to notice. Video and photo evidence of Eddie with Leeann were everywhere and by everywhere I mean every rag mag and paparazzi fueled gossip website to which I am embarrassed to admit I pay attention. Following the big reveal of the affair was an apology by Eddie and then endless stories about Leeann stalking him because she just couldn’t give him up. Having never met any of the involved parties I just shook my head and moved on because none of it affected my life and I would never know what was true and what wasn’t. Then came TWITTER WARS!!!! -cue dramatic music here.

Again, through gossip sites I started hearing about how Leeann Rimes now in a relationship and then a marriage with Eddie, was constantly battling it out via Twitter with Brandi. This made me curious because how could a woman who did something so shameful as have an affair,  to a married man, have the balls to talk smack about the scorned ex-wife. What could she possibly be saying? I had to know. I must admit I then became fascinated by the whole debacle. At times I was even tempted to shame Ms. Rimes myself on Twitter but then thankfully I realized it isn’t any of my business. However, there are many, many people, men and women who seem to think it is their business. People who spend a great deal of time either harshly criticizing or adamantly defending either Leeann or Brandi. These two women have managed to rile up some pretty intense emotions in people. The online bullying among the “adults” is astounding. They viciously attack whichever women they despise and then when the fans “defend” that woman they viciously attack the fans. It truly is a toxic environment. The hot button topics are Leeann constantly rubbing her “happy” marriage in Brandi’s face and frequently mentioning the two sons Brandi and Eddie have together as if they are her own. As a mother I can understand how this would be painful for Brandi because your children are so precious to you the mere idea of another person competing with you for their affection is excruciating. However I think with time and healing it would become a relief to know that the stepmother loved and cared for your children while they were with her. Unfortunately it doesn’t come across as sincere with Leann and more like an unnecessary attempt to hurt the woman who had her man first. Maybe that isn’t the case but is definitely the vibe being given.

Brandi herself is a polarizing character because instead of fading into the background and suffering in silence she has been shouting her pain and anger from the rooftops. She went on a reality show, wrote a book and has given countless interviews about what happened. Some people see her as a hero to all women scorned and others see her as an opportunist who used this terrible situation to gain notoriety.  The self admitted “filter-less” ex-model is brash, over the top and unafraid to say whatever enters her head. Her personality is at once admirable to some and a major turn off to others. Leeann on the other hand has taken the unusual route for someone who played the role of adulteress and has portrayed herself in interview after interview as the victim, unable to help the fact that she fell in love. Obviously not a popular take on the situation for a lot of people. Though, because she will respond to people on Twitter, feeding the delusion that they know her, there are people who fervently defend her and feel she has been unfairly treated.

The part that bothers me about all of this, aside from the fact that I ever cared to follow the story, is the way that people on Twitter feel they can say the most unbelievably hurtful things to these two women and to each other. Hidden behind a computer screen they attack fearlessly. Not an ounce of human decency is shown. Rarely do you see anyone encouraging these women to put the ugliness behind them and never an instance where someone tries to see both sides. More importantly, it never seems to occur to either Brandi or Leeann that making their personal lives an off limits topic may be the best thing for the two children involved. To them I would say-Talk about your careers, such as they are, but leave your personal issues for behind closed doors. Stand up to this nastiness by being united in this and I’m sure you would both find life a lot easier and the healing would begin.

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21 thoughts on “Social media brings out the worst social behaviour

  1. Yes, now I will read it. 😉

    Just kidding, I already did! I don’t know where I stand…Team Leanne or Team Brandi. If I’m honest, I like Brandi because she reminds me of me when I was young…but then I think, “But we’re the same age now and homegirl needs to grow up and get a filter”. Leanne is obviously the “bad guy” here but I empathize because I had a boyfriend when Chris and I met and fell in love. Was it wrong? Absolutely. But I told him the day after Chris and I discovered the affection wasn’t one sided and didn’t carry on an affair for months.

    But when she pulls the sad faced, “You can’t help who you fall in love with…”, I agree. You can’t. So I’m torn. But one thing is for certain…Twitter hath no fury like a woman scorned! 😉

    • I think your situation is a little different in the fact that no one was married, no children were involved and you were honest as soon as you knew what was happening. Whichever side people choose there still needs to be some basic human decency. I lean more towards Brandi because it was never her choice to have her hubby cheat and break up their marriage much less to have Leeann constantly harp about how she has the “right” to talk about how happy she is and how much she loves those kids. However, my opinion is just that and it doesn’t entitle me to attack people via Twitter, Something a lot of people don’t seem to get.

      • People need to stop acting as though watching people on television makes them a part of their lives. I’ve seen some of the reality stars fan’s tweets. Abhorrent. It’s actually a bit troublesome to know that those people are all around me, quietly seething and I am none the wiser.

  2. Crystal…you can imagine what I have to say about the whole matter. Douchebag slept with a married douchebag…=married douchebags…hope they are loyal and as faithful to each other as they were their 1st spouses…hahaha…yeah, right.

    • I know, its such a painful hot button topic for people and social media allows people to direct their hurt/anger/disgust towards celebrities anonymously instead of dealing with their feelings in a more healthy way.
      You know you deserve better Stacy and karma is a bitch and will get them in the end.

      • Remaining silent with class (as I did) gets you in a position where everyone thinks because you’re quiet not defending means what is being spewed is true. “Friend’s”, Mistresses and other guilty parties pounce relentlessly…causing more hurt to original betrayal. To me…there is no excuse. If married to someone…end it before you start with a new bed-mate. You stand a chance of making people sick by unprotected acts on top of the devastation it causes to the children having their families ripped apart…they shouldn’t have to worry if remaining parent is gonna live long enough to take care of them. As a society, people love putting their 2 cents in to others suffering…it’s to distract from their own shitty lives. The guilty parties love this attention…it distracts from the blame and hurt they should be feeling…they quite enjoy the attention. After all…attention is what got them in this position in the first place…from the wrong people. I sit back and watch…hearing Karma and other promises of punishment…the only people that seem to get brunt of suffering is the kids and spouse that were tossed aside in the first place…

      • “The guilty parties love this attention…it distracts from the blame and hurt they should be feeling…they quite enjoy the attention.”- I hadn’t really thought of that but you’re right all the negativity would naturally put them on the defensive thereby allowing them to play the victim. Sadly, wrong is wrong and some people just don’t get that.

  3. As I sit here and read your blog I can’t help but feel as wrong as this situation seems the story the feelings and the happenings are really not a privledge to us. I feel that its very unfortunate for everyone involved in this story. I also feel that life is short. Perhaps you are married perhaps you are not. Perhaps someone who is happliy married and has a loving partner would not be able to comprehend something like this happening. While one could say that’s ignorance another could say its luck. What happens in situations where people were together at a very young age perhaps not realizing life can be hard and they may grow apart perhaps their is physical mental or emotional abuse perhaps children came unexpectedly to a relationship that wasn’t meant to be in the first place. People stick it out for as long as they can. Families are aware that there isn’t hapiness behind closed doors but who’s going to bite the bullet and tell these people its ok to move on to find someone new. These people are obviously not with the person they are meant to be with but how often do we encourage these people to find true happiness? Or is it easier to sit back and mind our own business as months and years go by knowing that there is someone out there that would bring them true happiness. Nope let them live their life pretending its something its not. Cause life is short I see people go far to early in life never having been encouraged to follow their heart and their dreams. Life hapens we make decisions without nticipating the outcome. What happens in these relationships that I mentioned above if these people find true love find the one they are meant to be with? Everyone can’t be lucky enough to alwways find it the first time. So let’s all sit back and think about it. There is someone out there whom we know is living this facade this pretend story if you will. Is it someone we care about? Maybe a friend a co worker a family member. If something were to happen to these people or persons tomorrow would we be happy that we never interveined and supported them? I myself am very lucky I have been married for 36 years now. And I will say one thing if people aren’t lucky enough to feel in their heart what I’ve felt in mine for all these years you have my strong support get out there find your happiness and for goodness sake make sure those kids are loved. All the best.

    • I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. I didn’t write the post as a commentary on the breakdown of Brandi and Eddie’s marriage, the affair or Leeann and Eddie’s marriage. I actually wanted to address how their personal information is so public and how it has allowed and encouraged people to comment, often cruelly . I do have opinions on how these individuals have conducted themselves but my concern is more for how the anonymity of the Internet seems to bring out the worst in people, the inner bully.
      Thanks for weighing in!

      • I too agree with what you are stating. It is out of control. I strongly believe in soul mates and try very much to never judge. We love our children as they are our world however there comes a time when our children find love of their own and move on with their lives. What are we left with if we have only stayed all those years for the children? By this time it is usually too late to find the one. Life is short. Love and be loved. And encourage those near and dear to us to do the same.

      • Its “gang mentality”…attacking weaker and hurt victims….bullying 1-0-1. It is sad no matter how they look at it.

  4. I am too confused by all of this. Social media is sometimes like a unwanted infection giving us a wall to hide behind saying and expressing what we want all the while in disguise. Who. are we really? Do we live by what we preach?

  5. I am in agreeance with that for sure. Hurling words are effortless while behind the armour. However once faced are the words and actions the same or does only the thought remain?

  6. The words of wisdom do not work on leann.I’m sure her label and pr team hv all encouraged her to shut up on twitter but every day she continue to offend those watching. I’m happy b did not become another hollywood forgotten first wife! We will continue to comment until she stops offending every wife n mother out there. Hv u read her latest poem that details how the only diff between a biomom and a step is the step shares a special bond w the father. She’s delusional! Her karmas coming 🙂

    • I did read it and in fact it was one of the rare times I commented. I reminded her, politely, that “bio” moms have a bond with dad too…the children. Behaviour like hers and the resulting negativity is why I dislike Twitter even though I tentatively use it. It is the perfect venue for her particular brand of passive aggressiveness. She makes her jabs then sits back and lets the “fans” scratch and claw at each other in defence of her and her target all the while she pleads innocence and naïveté.

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