For anyone who doesn’t know what a tbh is, first off, lucky you. It stands for – to be honest and it is a thing kids do on Facebook where their status reads: ” like this status for a tbh” and then when their “friends” ” like” the status they then put a comment on that persons wall stating how they feel about that person. Usually this comment is a gushing, positive declaration on what a great friend the person is and how cute/funny/adorable/hot etc they are. However, sometimes it is used to blast/tear down the person or acknowledge how little they know someone who is listed as a “friend”. Frequently there is then a number placed at the end of the tbh and this is the part I find abhorrent. This number is a rating from 0-10 on the
child’s looks and overall appeal. Yep, you read that right. There is also a rate or date status which is exactly what it sounds like. These kids tell their peers what they rate them and if they would date them or not.
This to me is wrong on so many levels. Why are these kids wanting to assign a number to someone else’ value. Why would they need to hold that power over another person? More upsetting, why are these kids allowing someone to affect their self esteem this way. Why are they voluntarily giving another person the opportunity to judge them publicly and by participating making it clear that they care what the person’s opinion is of them. How insecure, narcissistic and damaging is this process. I remember being a teen and having crushes. The worst thing would be not to have the feelings returned but with this system the kids have created, you now are faced with public humiliation. At best it’s passive aggressive bullying with these kids allowing themselves to be bullied. I know, I know, they hope to get positive feedback but why chance it? There will always be someone who doesn’t like you.
As parents are we failing our kids by not instilling in them the knowledge that they need to believe in themselves and not rely on the opinion of others to validate their self worth? Are we not building them up enough? Are we not teaching them to value each individual as they are, perceived flaws and all? Are we not educating them on good morals and the importance of doing no harm. We all grew up with bullies, we remember their taunts but isn’t the damage that much more severe when it comes from someone you consider to be a friend. I don’t think many of these kids realize what they are doing but it is important to show them how hurtful this can be.
Why do we give each other rates? We shouldn’t “rate” a person…what a great way to ruin one’s self esteem…
So for any kids out there reading this, the next time one of your friends puts as their status -like for a TBH -please reply……. no thanks, I like myself too much for that.