Because you’re worth it

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They say love conquers all. In the movies everything comes out ok in the end but what about in real life?

I’m one of the lucky ones, I have a great husband who adores me. He’s a fantastic father and we are a real team. Occasionally a bag of lime, a shovel and a roll of tarp mysteriously appear in my trunk but I’ve never had to use them. Our kids, for the most part, have been great. No partying or drug use. They bring home decent grades and say I love you, often, even in front of their friends. We shouldn’t have any problems right? If only……

Sometimes life throws you curveballs and you’re caught completely off guard. Your kids make poor choices and bring people into their/ your life that wreak havoc on it. You hope that with all of the years spent loving them, building their self esteem and instilling good morals they will handle it the right way. You hope they know their own self worth and the importance of family and that they will defend all you’ve built for them. Sometimes you are wrong. They stumble and sometimes they fall.

When you’re hurt, disillusioned and exhausted it would be easy at times to throw up your hands and give up. If you are in a position, like I am, where your child is months away from being an adult legally, you may be tempted to ride out your time and send them out into the world to learn life the hard way. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen too many times. In the utmost of honesty it’s crossed my mind……….Damn that’s hard to admit.

I tell my kids all the time that it would be so much easier to be the parent who doesn’t care and who lets them do whatever they want. It is so much harder to say no but you do it because it’s the right thing to do. It’s tough to enforce the rules at times but you know in your heart they will be better people for it and lead happier lives. Everyone wants to be the cool mom. No one wants to see their child hurt and angry but sometimes you have to do what’s hard and whats right, not what’s easy. This is why my kids never ate ice cream for breakfast, roamed the streets at night or bought ninja throwing stars at the flea market, no matter how much they begged.

I’m not the type to take the easy route. I don’t believe in giving up on the people I love. I will fight for what I believe in. I believe in making family top priority and I will fight with my last breath for mine and I expect my children to do the same.

As I tell my boys, I’m willing to do the hard work ………..because you’re worth it.

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22 thoughts on “Because you’re worth it

  1. What an inspiring post. I think that as parents, we sometimes forget to notice just how good our kids are, compared to how they *could* be under different circumstances. As to those feelings of wanting to toss them out the door and let them learn the hard way, I admit I have actually done that. It achieved what was needed, but I sometimes wonder if maybe there might have been another way to address the situation that I couldn’t see at the time. At the same time, however, the circumstances didn’t appear to have any other options but to let them learn on their own. I guess we sometimes have to figure out when to let go of our children’s hands, and when to hold on… No matter what, though, one thing that never changes in the heart of a parent is their love for and belief in their children. This post is a testament to that truth, and I appreciate that you’ve shared it.

    • Thank you Holly. Being a parent can be the hardest job in the world. I have been lucky and I try to focus on that during these sometimes difficult teenage years. We have been dealing with our previously happy and outgoing son withdrawing and becoming sullen and secretive. Being as close as we are it’s been devastating. Compounded with it is a friend with her own issues that tried to convince him we are the enemy. Thankfully we discovered what was happening and are making progress. Doing the hard work.

  2. Once again you have stepped over the line.
    Keep my daughter and your judgements of her off the internet. Focus on your own home.
    This is the second time I have asked you.
    Would you like me too post about your son and your business? How would you feel about that??
    Stop now.

    • Actually you wanted me to take it public. I have no interest in conversing with you. Stop reading my blog. I have every right to talk about what is going on in MY life. What we recently discovered about your daughter and her actions are what you should focus on. I will not be bullied or harassed by you any more. Stay out of my/our lives.

  3. Talk of your life all you want. Keep her life off of here.
    Posting references of her without her permission is wrong.
    Kick your son out again. Refuse to pay his college enrollment because he doesn’t act like you want him to in front of your friends. Tell him what a failure he is. That’s your style.
    Tell everyone what a wonderful mother you are while others aren’t.
    Blog about it – just keep my daughter off of public forum.
    You are truly ridiculous to keep posting about it and I will protect her at all cost.
    Be the heroic mother you claim and consider her privacy.
    YOU choose to air your family issues – SHE does not.
    STOP IT

    • First of you delusional, misinformed, viscious woman, I have NEVER kicked my son out nor told him he was or is a failure so stop spreading your lies. Secondly I don’t need your permission to discuss MY life. Furthermore I did not discuss your daughter, merely referenced that there was someone causing problems for us. You, you brainiac, brought her identity to the forefront by commenting. If you would really like your daughters business to remain private stop commenting and drawing attention to her. I am collecting the threats from both you and her and if it keeps up I will seek a protection order against you both. The pages and pages of texts are enough alone. So, once again, stop reading my blog, stop texting or contacting my son and stay out of our lives.

  4. In the line of work that I do, I am presented with many different situations in terms of families and parenting. While I am sure we all agree, it would be nice if parenting came with a handbook. Well, unfortunately it doesn’t. That means that we parent from the heart, hopefully. Our upbringing, and beliefs play a big part in our role as well. I have known Crystal and the ****** family for many years, and the one thing that has always stood out among the rest is their family values, not just any family values but the immense family values that really other families would only be too lucky in having. They have spent lots of sweat and tears not to mention time nuroushing their family unit, and it clearly shows. I have never been witness to a more loving mother than this lady here (yes thats right lady). Maybe it is you Crystal who should have the job of writting that parenting book, the world definatley would be a much better place, and kids could walk free with their heads held high knowing without a doubt that they are loved and adored before anyone else. After all isnt that what lifes about?? Keep up the good work!!

    • Thank you so much. I needed to hear that. I’ll have to find out who you are though Devout Mother!
      The person commenting does not know my family and is only going by third party information. For my own peace of mind I have to believe she feels what she is doing is right. However the attacks have hurt and I wish her and her daughter would stop. They truly have no idea what my family is like. They have never seen the love we have.

  5. I have always told my children that if at the end of the day you can lay your head on your pillow and know that you have done the best that you could for that day then you have no worries, that what makes someone who they are. Crystal without a doubt as long as I have known you, you certainly should lay your head on your pillow at night and rest easy as you as a parent, wife, daughter and sister and friend have always done the best you can for each of those in your life. Keep being you, it makes the world a better place.

  6. I have read this three times and in no way are you singling out an individual or family. I was and still am taking it as remarks about growing pains in raising children and how frustrating it is to let them spread their wings and let go.
    I think you said it best…. don’t like what i wrote about my own thoughts…..THEN DON’T READ MY BLOG ! Pretty simple…
    Sounds like some one in very insecure.

  7. You know WHAT???? I had know idea when reading your blogs that you were talking about anyone in particular. It could have been anyone of the number of people you know. You certainly didn’t reveal who this person was on this blog. Now I know who this person is because she made the comments that she did and revealed herself. If she just kept out of it no one would have known. Now I know and now I understand. OMG! I wish I had the guts you have to write about how you feel about raising kids, being a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister…..a WOMAN!!! Whatever you do don’t give this up. You have a talent here. You have my support.

    • Thank you Laura. It is a terribly unfortunate situation and I desperately wish they had never started it. The lies don’t bother me anymore because I know the truth and people who know us do too.

  8. 22 years ago you taught me a lesson that has stuck with me ever since. One that has made me a better person and given me a better quality relationship with everyone I have met since. You’re a wonderful, honest and committed person who has made a positive difference in both the world and the people around you. Whoever the critics are, maybe they need or lack something you have to offer and are therefore jealous? At any rate, keep doing what you do and being who you are secure in the knowledge that you have something valuable to offer everyone. Thank you so much 🙂

    • Oh Sara, I miss you girl. I think you would be a great person no matter what anyone said or didn’t say to you. It’s just in your DNA. Thank you for the support. I know who I am and what my home and family truly are and no one can take that away. I had my moment of self doubt but my boys, my hubby and my incredible support system carried me through and I’m stronger now than ever before.
      I can’t wait to see you again!

  9. I agree you, you did not mention any names, places or any other information about the person only that it was a female. I normally do not get involved with other peoples business but in this case I felt I had to say something. We can only raise our children so far and then they decide what they think is best for them but sometimes the parent has to speak to them about it. By letting them know what will be the outcome and what it will do to their future if they continue on with what they think was right. Take care and continue to be the parent that wants to be in their childrens lives and forever loving them. Do what you need to do girl.

    • This coming from one of the most amazing mother/sister/aunt/grandmothers I have ever known, this means more to me than I could ever say. Having someone as loving as you in my life makes me feel so lucky. Thank you so much.

  10. I’ve let my children eat ice cream for breakfast…is this wrong? I had no idea….were you referring to me in this blog! Because you can! Love your writing.

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