Does this straight jacket make me look fat

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I’m considering adding to my wardrobe.

A lovely new jacket with a lot of staps and buckles. All white with the trendsetting design of arms in the back. It’s from the newest collection aimed at mothers of teenagers and entrepreneurs sacrificing their savings and sanity in the effort to build a new business. The style must simply be worn with dark ringed eyes, smeared lipstick and patchy, wild hair! It really is a style that can be worn by any woman! It isn’t a look for anyone still trying to pretend they have their shit together. It’s only for that end of your rope, road rage, revenge hungry, screaming at squirrels, don’t look at me I may leave you bloody…. I give up, phase in your life. When envisioning careening off a bridge as a welcome relief instead of a terrifying accident forget the the ever sensible blazer and opt for the clinical hug like style of the straight jacket. Get yours now at the high end boutique, La Loony Bin.

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